Last week we explored how difficult it is to pursue your goals when life gets hard. This week, as promised, I will give you three simple tools that will assist you to stay committed even when times get tough.

Before we get into the areas that help us stay committed to those goals, I first want to address the pink elephant in the room. I want to say the one thing that you may have never heard:

It is just as important to admit that it’s difficult to pursue growth, as it is to pursue it.

For you moms out there who are trying to pursue growth, this is a lesson you need to learn most of all. If I had a dollar for every time I saw a mom beating herself up for not doing ______ (myself included), I’d have, well, a lot of dollars.

The reason we have an incessant need to do more is that we are trying to prove to the world that we are enough.

Enough as a mom.

Enough as a working mom.

Enough as an employee who has kids.

We are trying to prove that our “other” responsibilities aren’t a weakness while in each particular role.

Glennon Doyle expressed it perfectly:

“When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”

This doesn’t mean you need to throw all your responsibilities out the window, on the contrary, it means is that you must discern your “why” behind the responsibilities you claim and the effort you put behind them.

I’ll use an example of my own: As a full time working mom I have spent many days feeling guilty that I can’t be available to my kids the way I would like. The days that they are “well enough” to go to daycare but are not feeling well are some of the hardest. I want to stay home with them and hold them until they feel better. But I have to work

At the same time, I have tended toward unnecessarily proving myself at work so that my responsibilities as a mom aren’t seen as an interference with my performance. Truthfully, my superiors have never said anything. It’s all in my head. I live in fear of the day they do.

Sound familiar?

I have found that the best way to discern the actions we take in response to our responsibilities is to as the question, “why?”

Why do I feel mom guilt for sending my kids to daycare?

Answer: Because I am a good mom and want to care for my kids. This is a good thing but I need to offer myself grace.

Why do I feel as though I need to prove myself at work?

Answer: Because I feel as though my productivity will suffer – but my superior hasn’t said anything and my work is getting done in the same way I had before. I just need to breathe and offer myself grace.

Why do I now feel inadequate in every area of my life since having kids?

Answer: Because this is hard and not because I am inadequate. Again, breathe. I am doing my best.

This simple act of asking why, and then breathing into that truth, creates space and energy so that we can stay committed to our goals.

See what I did there?

Pssst… want more tips on how to create space as an overwhelmed mom? Grab this beautiful audio for my best tips! 👇 

As promised, here are three tools you can use to stay committed to your goals when life gets hard.

You must have a rock-solid “why” behind it. (That why question pops up a lot doesn’t it?)

Your why provides a solid foundation you can stand upon, and confirms your original commitment.

Why did you commit to moving your body each day? Answer: Because you want to be able to lift your kids as they get bigger.

Why did you commit to building a side business Answer: Because you want to create financial freedom for your family.

A side note, if your why is based on someone else’s expectation, it won’t stick. This has to 100% you.

Know that the hardest part of your journey is the beginning. The more you pursue what is difficult, the easier it will become.

Don’t believe me? Think back to a time in which you were pursuing something. Perhaps you were applying to Universities, working toward a promotion or new job, you were actively focused on losing weight or getting to the gym more consistently. Did it not get easier as you continued to work toward it? At the very least you became more proficient at the work it took to get there which in and of itself makes it easier to some degree.

My point is, shift your mindset to focus on that point in time: that moment in which you wake up one day and suddenly realize how far you have come, rather than how difficult it will be when you take your first steps.

Which leads me to our third point.

Exercise the mind each day with the sole purpose of sharpening your mindset.

Often times what we perceive as truth is based upon our reaction. Our emotions and fear dictate the truth.

The mind works like a muscle and the more that you spend time in a quiet space the clearer everything will become.

Here is a simple way to do this at any time in the day:

1. Sit in a comfortable position.
2. Close your eyes and take ten long deep breaths in through the nose and out through the nose. Count to four on each inhale and exhale.
3. Once finished, ask yourself the question that you are struggling with. Sit with the answer and observe it as if you are looking at it from the outside. If you find a conversation about this answer arises that is your first step to learning the truth.

Full disclosure, everything that we discussed above is something that I have to practice every day. Some days are good, some days I totally fail. I truly believe, however, that anything worth having is worth putting the effort in.

All my love and support,

❤️️ Elle